Sam: [Pointing to a picture of an engraved stone] Where do you think this is?
Someone: On capus?
Sam: Anyone else?
Someone: Off campus!
Sam: Well, has to be one of those.
“It’s from 1981 – even I was quite young back then! – Warren
Actor: When playing a woman I got to feel what it is like to be as open and vunerable as women are.
Someone: Oi!
General female audience: [Murmurs angrily]
Warren: [Laughing] I don’t think there are a lot of open and vunerable women here, Dave.
Actor: You look very young, do you know what Monty Python is?
All: YES.
“I’m not an academic, I am not even very bright!” – Dave the Actor
“To cut down to it: you’re asking whether I am using my powers for evil? […] I would never ever use acting to convince someone, say a woman, to believe that I felt something I didn’t, say love.” – Dave the Actor on his epic powers
“I speak like this because I’m from Scotland where it’s freezing cold, so we keep our mouths shut all the time.” – Dave
“Romeo is a posh boy, he’s got an expensive education… [interrupts himself] I’m not judging him or anything, erm…” – Dave
On heartbreak:
Dave: I don’t know if you have ever had your heart broke in that particular way? I have, it’s awful.
Girl: Sorry…
Dave: Thanks! Can we talk afterwards?! We were actually out and about when it happened and she actually named the guy, and I dropped to my knees in a shopping centre going: [flings hos arm dramatically over his head] NOOOOOOO!
Rosie on Hamlet (in the seminar):
”He’s got the right to be indecisive: he’s dealing with life and death, not what to buy for supper.”
Jenni’s getting frustrated again:
“Oh, this is one of those days when I get so confused! I’m sorry. Sack me now! I should just go home and have a lie down. […] You are right and I’m an idiot.”
Quircky Quotes 