Teatime in Lauren’s kitchen:
“And she keeps asking me if I know what the different vegetables are called, if I have tasted them and if we have them in Germany. I’m a vegetarian! What would I eat else than vegetables?” – Mara
“And then she said: ‘oh, Germany, that’s right next to Asia, isn’t it’?” – Mara
Mara: I don’t understand why people don’t know these things. Like, who doesn’t know where Oslo is?
Alex: Well, most people don’t know where it is.
Lauren: I remember you being so surprised when you told me you came from Oslo and I went ‘that’s the capital, right?’ and you just went “Yes, yes, yes! Yes, it is!”
“And then she asked me if I was Jewish and I replied no. And she went: ‘are you sure?’ ‘Oh, now that you ask I’m not sure! I’ll call my parents. Hello, mum? I didn’t know we were we Jewish? Since when?!’ […] And later he came into my living room and for some reason my grandparents Hanukah chandelier stood on the floor, but they’re not Jewish so I don’t know why they had it. And he just said ‘oh, so you are Jewish?’” – Mara
Lauren: What does he do when he’s taking the underground though, being colour blind? […] They’ve not really thought it through; what colour…coloured…col-
Alex: [Laughing] What coloured people do when they’re taking the tube?
Mara: Oh Lauren, you’re such a rascist. I’m offended, as an Asian, Jewish, Nazi, I’m offended.
Mara on Twilight:
“And how long does it take her to realize that he’s a werewolf? The best part is where the wolves are coming and she’s like ‘run for your life!’ He’s even got the same tattoo as them and they’re wearing identical outfits. It’s not like they’re in a boyband!”
Lauren: You are posh aren’t you? You have ensuite bathroom?
Alex: Yes, I do.
Mara: Oh you’re posh? We can’t hang out with you then as we’re strictly working class people. We’re werewolves and you’re a vampire!
Alex: Hurray, I’m sparkly!
Alex: Oh, you’ve also put up the Globe poster. I have mine on the wall facing my bed so I can look at it.
Lauren: I thought about that, but I’m easily scared. I don’t want to wake up, see the poster and be frightened.
Alex: Frightened by that poster? ‘Oh no! It’s a roof! Help!”
Mara: ‘Wait, something is wrong: there’s a roof on my wall!’
Nine hours of shopping:
“Last night I was so tired that I suddenly began speaking Welsh to myself. It was just random words, because I can’t even speak it properly!” – Lauren, who is going insane
Lauren: ‘Women blink twice as often as men.’
Alex: What?
Lauren: It says so on the Snapple cork.
Alex: Oh, I thought it was just a general observation.
“Wait, let me write that down: ‘women blink twice as often as men’. What’s the drink called? Which date is it today? [Writes] I shall write this down for future generations to enjoy. One day I’ll have enough to just talk like that, ‘a ripe cranberry will bounce.’ I’ll never say anything else than what’s written on the Snapple bottle.” – Mara describes her future plans
“Girls, focus! Focus on what we came here for!” – Mara as Lauren headed for the turquoise 1950-dresses and Alex strolled about hunting for Jane Austen inspired clothing.
Mara being satirical, or how some people (not Lauren, though), thinks that there isn’t any vegetables or spoons in Germany:
Lauren: What are you having?
Mara: It’s just tomato, spinach and such.
Lauren: Your first time isn’t it? How do you like it?
Mara: Oh, vegetables! Can I please eat it with a spoon? Back in Germany I used to eat everything with my hands and I got burned when I tried to eat soup. But now I have a spoon!
Mara being satirical II, or how some people believe that there’s polar bears roaming the streets of Oslo:
“I can imagine you on the tube, right next to a polar bear going: ‘oh, hello, erm… Yes, yes I’m also going off at this station.’ Because everybody knows that polar bears on the tube are completely usual in Oslo.”
Mara: [Picking up a stuffed polar bear] Aleksandra, does this remind you of home?
Alex: [Holding her shopping bag with he teeth while putting on her coat]
Mara: Do you want some help with that?
Alex: Thanks, I’ll manage.
Mara: So that’s how you do it in Norway! You have to carry your bags in your mouth to have your hands free to fight off the polar bears!
Mara: […] I have my wooden spoon and Aleksandra has to defend herself against polar bears…
Lauren: While I run around in Wales with flowers in my hair.
Mara: You know the Oktoberfest, right? I have never been to one, no Germans ever go to them, they’re just for American tourists.
Lauren: But the Welsh stereotype is actually true, though.
While strolling around Strand and Trafalgar Square:
Random 40-50ish business man named James: Oh my god! Here I was thinking it was 2009, but when I look at you it’s suddenly 1949! [Kisses Mara’s hand and goes on talking about how men nowadays never looks at a woman’s face and that the man should never ask for the woman’s number, just give her his and hope she’ll call him] It is like a chocolate he is offering and it is up to her when she will open it. So, could I give you my number?
Mara: Erm…
James: Would you call me back?
Mara: They didn’t have cellphones in 1949.
Alex: [Blocks the way of a random man walking down Regent Street]
Mara: [Sarcastic] Aleksandra, what are you doing?
Alex: I’m dancing with strangers!
Lauren: Do you want some food?
Rob: I didn’t bring a fork.
Mara: Why? I told you to bring a fork, didn’t I?
Rob: Yes, but I didn’t understand what for.
Mara: What did you think?! What did you think we wanted a fork for?
Alex: To poke you with it?
Mara: ‘I have a wooden spoon here in my purse, you brink a fork and let’s fight!’
Rob: The actual Timewarp that’s being danced in clubs all over the country is actually easier. The one in the film is more complicated.
Mara: Erm, it’s just a jump to the left and seven steps to the right?
Alex: And then your hands on your hips.
Mara: How is that complicated?
Alex: Well, I suppose it is if you don’t have any legs or arms.
Mara: [Laughing] You can still wriggle your hips, though!
Lauren: I can’t remember if I read that somewhere or Stephen Fry told me.
Alex: I don’t think Stephen Fry told you it personally! It was probably on QI.
Lauren: That would have been something! [Mimes she’s on the phone] ‘Hello, this is Stephen Fry, I was just calling to say that [random fact]. That’s all, bye Lauren!’
Mara, to Rob: “You can’t kill someone. You can’t even run!”
While watching Some Like It Hot:
Mara: Where did she [Marilyn Monroe] get the ice from?!
Alex: It’s winter, so she probably broke it off from the roof of the train or something.
Mara: Well, that’s perhaps how you do it in Norway, but…
Quircky Quotes 